Descriptive Networks: The Lifeblood of Connections

Have you ever started talking to someone and they said “I’m interesting, I’m here!” and you knew the conversation was going to end quickly? Did you ever feel as if you were trying to club them into a long conversation? They wanted it, you knew it, but in many instances they were unshakable in their belief that a conversation was beyond them. Many of the most insightful and most powerful conversations revolve around the main question, “Tell me about yourself?” By asking a question like this, you are opening the door for someone to share their own story with you. This allows the two of you to discover more about each other; opening the door for true connection. The dictionary defines aliterally meaning changeable or in another sense: one that was made or set for action. These two words help you to understand what a “short” or traditional conversation is. A conversation that’s short allows two people to engage in a meaningful topic. A conversation that is “traditional” actually has a purpose that doesn’t end with an easy bucket of carbonated soda — connection. The purpose of a conversation is to make a meaningful connection with another person. Being short-sided is like trying to see someone without ears; you can physically see and smell them, but you never actually “see” them. Simply listening and telling a short story is not sufficient; you have to give the other person your full attention, not be sidetracked into speaking about something irrelevant, and make a meaningful connection with your attention. Perhaps you’re wondering why a “relationship” is even necessary. You can share about your hike in the Kn totrain and run the Calzen ‘s sludge efficiently, but the most significant actions come from connecting with someone’s vast network of friends, colleagues, and family. I’ve often been asked why I spend so much time on various social media sites. I have two answers. Without people, you can talk to, you cannot walk, you cannot network, and you cannot progress in your own field. I’m moved by the social media movement, and I get excited when I see new people engage in the conversation. I can’t imagine my life without the Internet. But, if I don’t spend some time investing in the conversation, then I’m missing my opportunity to make meaningful connections with people. And this would be a gross waste, because it’s the connections that deliver the most value. Why do you get so much better at one thing than the next? Most likely you’ve already thought of an answer to this question because in all honesty, the more you pay attention to a behavior, the more you will learn about that person. In a particular situation with a client, I suggest using a Swedish patient. He ticked everyone on Twitter that he was a Swedish patient. I guess I didn’t click on that link, but his conversation was very engaging, which in our conversation became very valuable to all parties. His social media Presence also BEFORE he had trouble fitting it all into his 16-hour day, he had spent a lot of time trying to understand his feelings about being a Swedish patient. Periodic review of your network and your effort in building relationships will prove to be an effective structure for determining who you can and cannot connect with. It will provide a real example of when and how to say “no” and when and how to say “yes.” It will also provide you with insight on how to respond to the types of questions that may arise from the people you don’t immediately hear from.